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Many times we begin to feel stuck in our relationships, as though it’s impossible to make the changes in ourselves that we want to make. Old habits and memories reappear frequently., pulling us back into old patterns and fears..

However, there are easy, unfailing steps we can take to healing our relationship. These steps are easy, enjoyable and life giving, and all that is needed is a willingness to put these simple steps into action one by one.

Step 1: Take responsibility for whatever’s happening. Realize that for things to be different, you must be different.

Many try to change their relationships by finding what’s wrong in their partner, fixing it, talking things over endlessly or finding someone new. But whatever is happening, you are participating in it, and wherever they go you take yourself along.

For the relationship to be new, you must become new. Commit to spending even 15 minutes a day, taking new steps. Commitment is the first step.

During this personal time, take complete responsibility for what is happening in the relationship. This does not mean “blaming yourself”. Just take a good look at what you are doing to keep the problem going, what benefits you are getting out of the situation as it is. When you see you part in the situation you become empowered to make real changes.

Step 2: How you think affects how you feel, and how others respond to you.
Our thoughts are not really secret or silent. When we either secretly or loudly blame, criticize or want to change another, we create an atmosphere around us which pushes people away. Stop indulging in negative thinking. You have the power to change the way you think. Choose positive, loving thoughts. Replace each negative thought with a positive one.

When you look at your partner focus upon their beauty and strength. Say to yourself, “I salute the goodness in you.” On some level they will hear you, feel uplifted and respond. Call forth the best in them. And in yourself.

Step 3: Do What You Love Together

What we love has power in our lives. Doing what we love is medicine. It makes us happy, inspires us and stimulates the imagination and with that which is most creative in ourselves. Take time to do what you love together.. Many relationships become stuck because the partners are spending more time alone doing what they care about than together. Bonds are built through sharing meaningful times.

Most people wait to be happy – making it depend upon the way their partner treats them.. But, when you do what you love, you are happy each moment, just with the doing itself. This is a wonderful way to be together – not dependent upon what happens in the future – just fulfilled with each moment as it comes along.

Step 4: Let the Past Be The Past

We often carry around so much baggage that it is amazing we can even take another step. Many of us feel that past events are unresolved or unfinished until we work them out. However, at any moment we have the power to declare things fine and complete. At any moment we can stop trying to change and control the way life has happened thus far. Make that moment now. Put down old baggage. Let go of old events in your relationship and accept that things work out the way they do. Resolve to start fresh together. This is a new day.

Step 5: Think of Your Partner Before Yourself

Usually we approach relationships wondering what we can get out of them, but, in order to find happiness, just turn this around. Think of the other person first. When with them, ask yourself, how can I serve you today? What can I do to make your day wonderful? Not only will the person feel the change in your approach to them, but you will feel wonderful and fulfilled. Your sense of greed, deprivation, self-absorption and upset will vanish as you fill yourself with thoughts and deeds of service to others.

About the Author:
Discover the surprising truths about love that will save your relationship, best selling e-book, Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships)http://www.truthaboutlove.com. written by top psychologist and speaker. Contact at: topspeaker@yahoo.com

Keyword tags: love, relationships, marriage, dating, singles, psychology, marriage counseling, divorce, self help