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For a lot of people, making any kind of change is extremely intimidating because it looks like a long road ahead that they’re not sure they’re ready to start walking down.

But the truth is that it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, it isn’t that way because it isn’t humanly possible to travel that whole road at once. Like any other road, you can only go down it one bit at a time.

It’s as though, without realizing it, some people think they have to travel the road sideways, so to speak. As if they have to cover the whole length of the road at once and then, you know, cross the street.

OK, enough road metaphors. The point is that, like anything, making changes has to be done one step at a time. And it’s almost always that first step that is the toughest for people to take.

But the truth is that once most people take that first step, and get started, they see that it is possible to accomplish certain goals and work towards real change.

All you need is a little bit of success at a time. And once you see that progress, it’ll be easier to take that next step, and then the next one, and so on.

I’ve seen it in my own kung fu training, and in the training of others in my school. Anyone who enters the school expecting to be a master in one day leaves once they realize that it’s going to take some work. Anyone who’s really ready to learn knows this already, and sometimes after only one class they’ve seen a bit of improvement, and now they’re excited about learning kung fu. So then they come to another class and learn a little more.

All I did to become a sifu, essentially was go to my classes regularly, work on technique, and then wait for time to pass as it always does. But I had to start with my first step: deciding to go. And then, of course, going.

Unfortunately, we live in a time when there is a desire for a lot of quick fixes that don’t require having to invest a lot of time and effort. Well, it would be great if anything like that worked, but really it’s the exact opposite that consistently gives results.

Why do you think that Alcoholics Anonymous created a 12 step program? And why do you think that they’ve been the most successful organization at getting alcoholics to stop drinking for over 80 years?

They understand how it works, and how to teach the process. And they know that it isn’t the kind of thing that happens overnight.

The first step of any 12 step program is admitting that you have a problem, or, more accurately, admitting that you are powerless over whatever substance or behavior it is.

This will often be the first step in self improvement, also, even if you don’t have a serious addiction. Admitting that you need to make a change is a much bigger step than most people realize. And that’s why it’s so difficult for so many people.

And the next step is sometimes even tougher, and it’s different for everyone depending on the type of change they want to make. It might be contacting a support group, or talking to a job placement firm, or taking a class, or any number of things.

But if you keep your tasks organized and go through them one at a time, you’ll almost certainly see some success. And hopefully that will inspire you to take the next step. I honestly believe that if you adopt that mentality, you can accomplish everything you want to accomplish.

You just need to take that first difficult step and get started.

About the Author:
Mark Yarrobino is the administrator of http://www.learntochangeyourlife.com, a site designed to help its visitors find the best information available for making positive change in their lives. Most of the information is provided in the form of articles and audio interviews with experts in the field.

Keyword tags: self help,self improvement,personal development,goal setting

The Encarta World English Dictionary defines “confidence” as “a belief or self-assurance in your ability to succeed.”

We all know people who appear to be very confident professionally, yet when it comes to personal relationships, appear to be very insecure.

Personal confidence is totally different than professional confidence in that personal confidence is about who you are and professional confidence is about what you do.

PERSONAL CONFIDENCE

What creates personal confidence? How does one become confident in who they are?

If you grew up with parents who valued their own inner qualities and were role models for inner confidence, and valued your inner qualities and supported you in being who you are, it is likely that you feel personally confident.

But must of us did not grow up that way. Most of us grew up with parents or other caregivers who not only lacked personal confidence, but who may have blamed and shamed us, undermining our sense of self.

However, no matter how much we may have been de-valued as children, it is never too late to learn to value ourselves now. The secret in gaining personal confidence is to get to know your true Self – your soul essence – who you really are.

Your true Self is your essential inner qualities that you were born with, such as your ability to love, to be kind and caring, to be compassionate and empathic, and to listen well. It is about your basic goodness. It is also about your creativity, your unique talents, your particular forms of intelligence, your sense of humor, your smile, your laugh – all that is uniquely you.

If you were not valued for your true Self, then it is likely that you are not seeing or valuing your essence qualities. In fact, you might have decided a long time ago that you are not good enough – that you are somehow inadequate as a person. It is this false belief that creates feelings of inadequacy and a lack of personal confidence.

Right now, imagine that you can see yourself, not from the eyes of your programmed ego wounded self, but from the eyes of your higher self – the eyes of love. Visualize yourself as a very small child and look inside at who that child is. What do you see? Is there anything about you as a small child that makes you unlovable? What are the wonderful qualities that are inherent in you as a child? If this child were your actual child, how would you feel about him or her?

Throughout the day today, practice noticing and valuing your inner qualities. If you do something kind, say to your inner child, “I really value your kindness.” If you are creative or funny, express appreciation for these qualities. Day by day, as you consistently value your intrinsic qualities, you will find yourself gaining in personal confidence. When you learn to appreciate rather than judge who you are you will feel personally confident.

PROFESSIONAL CONFIDENCE

Professional confidence comes with time and practice. The more you learn and practice a particular skill, the better you become at it and the more confidence you have regarding this skill. With enough time and practice, anyone can become confident in their ability to perform.

Some people attempt to define themselves by their performance, believing that what they DO defines who they ARE. When this is the case, they will continue to lack personal confidence, no matter how successful they are professionally. When you attach your worth to your external success, then you have to continually succeed to be worthy, which creates much inner stress. If you find yourself constantly judging yourself to get yourself to perform, you might want to notice that it is this self-judgment that erodes your personal confidence.

Confidence as an adult does not come from others approval. Valuing both who you are and what you do is what creates a deep level of inner confidence.

About the Author:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Join the thousands who have healed their pain and discovered joy! Learn Inner Bonding now! FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome.Phone Sessions Available.

Keyword tags: confidence, self-esteem, inner child, self help, personal development, self improvement, Inner Bondi

In 1980, Canada discovered their hero. A young man by the man of Terry Fox decided to walk across Canada in hopes of raising cancer awareness. Not only was this a courageous goal, what made it even more remarkable was that Terry’s leg was amputated several inches above his knee.

In April 1980, Terry started out on the east coast. With little support and trudging through harsh weather conditions – rain, sleet, wind and snow – Terry averaged 26 miles a day. It wasn’t long before Canadians recognized that Terry modeled what it took to meet a huge goal – perseverance.

His fanfare increased and he soon gained support across the nation. Then, nearly 3,000 miles later the country was shocked to hear that Terry was forced to quit his run. Cancer had settled in his lungs and he couldn’t go on. Although Terry’s life ended a year later, his dream lives on.

Nearly twenty-five years later, I heard a speaker at a national conference share how Terry had impacted his life. In fact, he decided to make a film to promote Terry’s courageous dream.

He got all his facts and figures together and met with the board in Toronto to present his project. The response he got was, “You will never get his parents’ support. This takes a lot of money and we don’t have it to support you. You would need the community’s support and that won’t happen.” One by one each board member discounted what he wanted to do. Jack left that meeting very discouraged facing the death of his dream.

As he boarded the plane from Toronto to Minneapolis the flight attendant told him that since there were only three passengers on the flight Jack could sit wherever he wanted. Where would you choose? If it were me, I would head for first class. Jack didn’t. He walked all the way down the long aisle and sat in the very last seat, wanting to be alone.

A young girl then boarded the plane and she walked all the way down the aisle and sat right next to him. Jack took the magazine from the seat pocket and raised it over his face giving her a clear message he wasn’t open for conversation. The girl sat patiently.

A short time later, the magazine started coming down. When Jack lowered it to a reasonable height the girl asked, “May I speak to you a few minutes?” Somewhat irritated, Jack said, “I guess so.” She said, “I’ve been watching you. I know what you’re doing?” With that she bent forward and pulled up her pant leg and showed Jack her wooden leg.

She said, “I had cancer and it is because of you I am alive today. Don’t EVER let go of your dream.” To see Jack persevere with his dream had given her hope to keep living.

Needless to say, Jack didn’t sleep that night. The next morning he got up and knew he had to fulfill his dream. His ‘why’ had just gotten bigger.

It’s because of courageous men like Terry Fox and Jack that many lives have been spared with millions of dollars raised through cancer research. Terry’s dream continues through the annual Terry Fox cancer run. If a young man like Terry – who isn’t even alive anymore — can continue to impact thousands of lives, how much more can you do by fulfilling your dream? How big is your WHY?

About the Author:
Linda Olson’s latest book is “Exceeding Your Expectations: Learning the Ten Leadership Principles that Guarantee Results.” For 35 years she’s been empowering people to take action and make lasting change through her speaking, writing and coaching. For more info go to http://www.madeforsomethingmore.com

Keyword tags: Linda Olson, self help, leadership principles, exceed your expectations, how to fulfill your dreams